In the midst of graduation season, I can’t help but think about myself in the shoes of the seniors who have to finally spread their wings and enter the “real world.” Where would I live? What type of job would I have? How do I handle my own taxes and finances? I have to pay bills now? In particular, who will I still keep in touch with? Who will I still have a chance to see?
In New York City, when you go from elementary school to middle school to high school, there is usually a screening process to get into a school unlike many of the other states’ zoned schools. Going into middle school, I didn’t know many people who went to the same elementary school. Similarly, going into high school, there were a total of 2 people (including me) going to the same high school from my middle school. Then, in college, once again, I barely knew anyone coming in. In each stage of my life, I lost and gained friends. It felt like I always had to start over.
But starting over was okay because there would be a new batch of classmates to meet and a very structured environment in which to meet them. But what happens after college? You go to work, see your colleagues, and go home. There are no more classes to suffer through with friends, clubs with weekly meetings and free food, and dining halls or hallways to bump into friends or acquaintances initiating a long-awaited meal.
Sure, I’ll admit this is a rather pessimistic view. You’ll probably work in a team, join an employee resource group, and meet people in a company food court or event. Maybe this is a different version of “school” that we call the “real world.”
But something that has been bothering me is the fact that every stage feels like a restart. What is the point of all the people you meet, all the connections you make, when it’s all just wiped away with time and distance? While there have been some constants in my life like my high school best friends, what about college? Will I ever see the person I just got dinner with last week after I graduate? Will I ever talk to the person I waved to in the hallway after I leave college?
I want to create deeper connections with people, knowing the connection goes farther than just the college environment, but am I too late? I’m going to be a senior and leave college in a year. Is it still possible to build these connections this late?
On a more hopeful note, maybe it’s not too late. If I am open to making new friends and deeper connections, there will be others who are too — I’ve definitely already made some great connections. And if it doesn’t work out once, try again. If it doesn’t work out twice, try a third time. I tell myself that there is no shame to failure. One more failure is one step closer to success.