Table of Contents
“Work life balance”
For as long as I could remember, one of my biggest values and mottos have been “work life balance.” Growing up, my single mother had to take on the role of a caregiver, full time worker, and sometimes, even a freelancer. Because of all the responsibilities she had, she had very clear boundaries for work and life. She had told every boss that she would only for 9am-5pm work hours and would not take work home. She would consistently come home at 6pm and start cooking dinner for my grandma and I. Every weekend, my mom would take me to tutoring and extracurriculars. She has always been that strong, steady force who had her life figured out (at least from my perspective) and found a balance that allowed her to be happy. Because of this, I had always that that all I needed was “work life balance.” I needed to clearly separate my work from my life and they can never blend.
After getting a taste of the work life this summer, I realize how I’ve misunderstood my mom and how my motto has made me rigid for reasons I haven’t clearly thought out. Does it really make sense for 8 hours of every weekday to feel like work? Why does work have a negative connotation while life has a positive connotation? What constitutes work and what constitutes life? All of these questions started to challenge my original ideals on what my ideal work life balance is.
Work can be fun.
I never thought of myself as someone who can work 24/7 and grind all day long. I have always been afraid of becoming a workaholic and being absorbed by work. But I realized that work was more than just coding all day. Work consisted of talking to people, problem solving, bouncing around ideas until one of them sticks, and learning. Working with a team that supported each other, cracked jokes once in a while, and challenged each other was actually fun. I even felt like my work contributed to this team and this company. I felt a sense of purpose, accomplishment, and meaning. Maybe the if-statement I wrote wasn’t the most exciting part of my day but the environment and the problems I worked on made me excited to come to work everday.
Life can be boring.
I had felt a pressure to make my life outside of work exciting. If work wasn’t my passion, then the things I did outside of work should be something I’m passionate about. I was used to filling every hour with some activity like rock climbing, running, getting dinner with a friend, singing karaoke, etc. While these were all very fun and meaningful, I felt like I was just chasing the high of doing something with my time. When things slowed down, the anxiety of not doing anything started to creep in.
Upon reflection, I realize that life is allowed to be boring. It is okay to be too tired from the workday to do anything. It is okay to spend time finding food to eat and looking for the next show to watch. It is okay to have some time for myself. Not every day had to be an adventure.
Work <> Life
So what does work life balance really mean? I think I am still figuring this out. In the end, work, family, friends, and every experience is a part of my life so I would want to enjoy every part of it. I rather work longer hours (to some extent) with people I enjoy being around on problems that are interesting to me than work normal hours on meaningless work. While this might mean I have less time to do all of the stimulating activities I previously described, I can do them with a greater feeling of fulfillment.